Tom Cruise’s strange birthday gift.
Sure, lately we’ve given Tom shit for being a complete nutcase. And we’ve had plenty of actions by him to support our assumptions. He violated Oprah’s interviewee chair (I don’t have to tell you how bad that was for the upholstery,) his religion is based on an elaborate science fiction book about aliens, and he recently vowed to named his child after Ellen Degeneres (Dellen!?!?!) But now he gave his fiancé a very strange present for her 27th birthday: a complete collection of every movie he’s ever been in. I’m not sure whether to chalk this one up to vanity or insanity. Or hell, it might have been considered a little cheap on his part, seeing as how he most likely owns SEVERAL copies of every movie he’s appeared in. I guess it’s a little thoughtful of him to write a personal message on each and every DVD. But what if the roles were reversed? Would Tom want the Complete Dawson’s Creek for HIS birthday? Fuck, he probably would. I wonder what was actually inscribed on each DVD? Well, if I had to guess,
I knew it was Risky Business telling everyone I knocked you up. But what can I say? I’m GAY. Thanks for your help with the cover-up and all…
Katie, words cannot describe how much you mean to me. You’re the only woman I’ll ever want. With that in mind, please enjoy Eyes Wide Shut, a movie where I fuck my ex-wife…
This is Minority Report. I apologize for adding this one. You don’t have to watch it if you don’t want to. I never did. Never even read the script…
Next time just buy her more expensive medical equipment, Tom. Nothing says loving like a defibrillator.
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