Hilary Duff says stupid shit, Part 2
Boy, you just have to love it when your girlfriend makes you out to be a bigger pussy than everyone realizes. I'm referring to Hilary Duff's current beau, the cradle-robbing frontman for that fake-ass punk band Good Charlotte, Joel Madden. She decided to speak out against people's pre-conceived notions about her and Joel's image and age difference. What she doesn't realize is most of us have the same views that she's trying to defend, and that's actually what we tend to belittle. Check out some of these comments she makes in regards to her 'tattooed bad-boy lover,'
"You're automatically prejudging us because Joel has tattoos or I have blond hair. He has tattoos so he's bad, I smile all the time so I'm perfect."
Hmm, actually I was 'prejudging' Joel's music by making him a sell-out whose tattoos are just a ploy to keep his band from seeming like a pop group. He's kind of like Donny from NKOTB, or A.J. from the Backstreet Boys. Or even Robbi Rosa from Menudo (okay, forget I brought up Menudo.) In the immortal words of Dennis Miller, he's a "motorcycle man in a moped band." As far as Hilary's hair-color is concerned, well, we all just thought she was stupid. And everytime she open her mouth, we're proven right. But hey, Joel doesn't do a very effective job of making himself sound any better,
"I'm the most normal, low-key, sit-at-home, watch-TV type. She's made me more social, 'Come on and hang out with my friends!' It's not me going, 'Come on, Hilary, get on a motorcycle and ride into the sunset to a raging party!'"
So you're just saying you like to stay home and smoke pot? Or do you just like to stay in for the night with your little brother Benji while you guys give each other makeovers and cackle like chickens about how much fun PETA is, or what your next Catholic tattoo is going to be, all the while as your mom prepares the hot cocoa. Damn, it's a good thing Hilary forces you to attend social gatherings, because you were starting to sound like Joey Lawrence. And if you didn't think that was enough to prove Joel's a dry vagina, read this ridiculous confession from Hilary,
"Joel is the most respectful boyfriend I've ever had. We had five or six dates before we even kissed."
Oh. My. God. I might have been able to let it slide if she said it was five or six dates before he rammed her in the ass, but what the hell? Are you guys fucking Amish? Look dude, I recommend you go hide back in your mom's uterus, because you will never live down the fact that you're the biggest puss in the entire world. Smile, you just beat out France.
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