Popozao?!?!

Dear Tom from MySpace,

I just got back from the store to get some more razor-blades and hair-dye in hopes of relaxing in front of the computer at Emo Central (your site.) When to my shock and dismay I found this page by that fake fuck, Kevin Federline. What the shit is this, Tom? Why are you letting these wannabes onto our blessed online Emo-topia? You've changed, man.

MySpace used to be a place where we could celebrate our individuality by sharing tips on how long we should go without washing our black hair, how thick-rimmed our glasses should be, and interesting ways to shrink our clothing, all the while as we upload songs that are uncleverly composed yet wrought with deep, melancholy lyrics. But now we have to put up with these fake white hip-hop "stars" who disgust us with their asinine desire to conform to afrocentric traditions. Dude, you've just turned my non-smile into a frown.

To top it off, I can't get this fucking "Popozao" song out of my head. This is killing me, Tom. Does this mean I like white rappers now? My parents are going to be pissed at you if this is true, Tom. They think I spend way too much money at Hot Topic as it is. They'll disown me if I start buying Sean John clothing.

I guess what I'm getting at, Tom, is that it's never too late to stop selling out. Sure, you sold off your website to corporate media, and they now use it as a vessel for famous musicians and stars to make fans feel like they're approachable. And sure, you probably make more money than my dad, which I'd know if I cared enough to see past the dark emptiness of my existence shown through my greasy hair and paid attention to his financial status. But it's STILL not too late to stop being a corporate pawn. Po-po-popoza*GODDAMMIT! I swear I'd cut my wrists right now If I wasn't saving the new razor blades for when this girl I like comes over. At least I hope it's a girl. It's hard to tell these days.

Go to hell with me,
Emo Kid

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