New Rocky Film?
If any of you were privileged enough to read my articles on Push 4 Coin, you may be well aware that I'm a huge fan of the Rocky movies. In fact, last March when AMC had it's Rocky Week I watched every single Rocky movie...twice. What can I say? Rocky fucking rocks. It's like Star Wars to me.
That being said, I'm not sure what to think about a new Rocky movie. I suppose I can take small comfort in the fact that Sly decided to name it Rocky Balboa rather than Rocky VI, but that still doesn't make up for the fact that this movie is about a decade too late in the making. Now, I know Stallone is still in very good shape for being 59, but all the well-defined abs and pecks amount to shit when your skin looks like an old saddle bag. Please Sly, do the world a favor and DON'T take your shirt off in this movie. No one wants to see that anymore than they'd want to see their grandfather's hairy balls. Great. Now I'm making references to old men's testicles. Thanks a lot, asshole.
Don't get me wrong, though. I'll still see the movie because it might be pretty damn good. However, as the first five movies made me want to start up a vigorous regimen of push-ups and crunches, this one might just make me not want to get old and die. And as ridiculous as it sounds to have a much older Stallone gearing up to return to the ring, at least he's not thinking about reprising his role as Rambo. Oh wait, he is? Jeezus...
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